Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
