Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
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