I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Randomize
