Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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