what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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