Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
