Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Sorry my hands just texted you
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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