he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
