party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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