ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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