So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
