Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
