He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
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I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
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All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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