i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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