At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
you would pick up someone in the library
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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