we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Randomize
