i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
