Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
