this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
