btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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