her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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