He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
