Midget sex pt 2 tonight
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
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