I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
