you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
