He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Just invented taco cereal.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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