dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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