hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize