i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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