Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
He felt like a one man threesome
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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