Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
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