Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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