I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
He shit in the fireplace
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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