It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
