Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize