I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
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the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
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I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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