I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
