he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
