Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
