my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
