O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize