i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
