Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
