Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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