haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I feel great
I just peed on a car
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Randomize
