Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
