i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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