shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
There r osticjed everywhere
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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