My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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