Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Randomize
