We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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