I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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