Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
