we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize